all that i have in this moment

Lena paused at the edge of the trail. An exhale fell heavily from her chest. Robin turned as her story grew silent. She could feel her friend’s hesitation. The rest of the group shuffled by them, clambering down the trail without thought. 

“What are you doing?” Robin asked. 

Lena pulled a long inhale through her nostrils. “I’m not coming with you.”

“What?”

Lena held her ground. 

“Where are you going to go?” Robin’s brow furrowed, her mind attempting to wrap itself around this foreign idea. “You won’t make it on your own out there.”

“I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I know it isn’t this way.” 

“Lena-” Robing took a step towards her friend who recoiled back slightly. 

“Don’t,” Lena called, softly but sternly, “I know this all must terrify you, but I’m not you, I’m me. I didn’t tell you because I’m not strong enough yet to carry your fears. I couldn’t hear my own voice if I were drowning in yours.” 

Robin let out a mix of a scoff and a laugh. 

“There’s nothing I can say to convince you, and I don’t have any answers for you except that I finally understand. And I’m finally ready.” Lena’s face relaxed in soothing determination.

“To do what?” Robin snapped back, surprising herself. 

“Take all that I have in this moment - the very next step.” 

-b

August 21, 2020

Photo Credit: Alexander Milo