cold and done

At dawn’s light, I dipped my toe into the ocean waters. It may as well have been filled with ice.

The waves pounded, relentless in their pursuit of the shore.

This isn’t happening, I’m cold and done. I convinced myself.

But there it was—my internal Nag. No, you’re here. Just go.

Shoe, Nag. I thought. There’s a double shot espresso with my name on it, we’re getting out of here, and it can be our little secret.

Nags don’t relent. Just go.

I resisted. It’s my favorite little espresso shop, and the line gets long after seven…

Just dive...

In a flash, I abandoned my hesitation and dove under the oncoming wave, my body stunned by the all-encompassing, nearly frozen water. I regretted this decision. 

But only for a few seconds.

As my body temperature adjusted, I began to swim with clean form, and dove under one final wave—emerging past the break and into calm, open waters. 

With rays of the morning sun casting dancing light across the water, I encountered a dolphin family playfully leaping from the ocean only a few feet away from me.

Alone with these dolphins—this moment was seared into my imagination.

As with so many of my favorite moments, I regretfully owe thanks to my Nag.

-m 

October 29, 2020