too much

The words replayed in Jordan’s mind. “You need too much.” 

His bloodshot eyes, dry from his contacts and a night of sleeplessness, burned as he stared at the ceiling in thought. A boy who had always been pushed to do better, to be more. Stronger, faster, smarter, calmer. To then be accused of needing the security of the fences he had never wanted to box himself into. 

“You need too much,” she had said before she left. Where does the giving stop and turn into a take? When does what is offered become what is required? 
Jordan pulled his swollen feet back into his sneakers. There was a lot to clear from his mind. 

His limbs rolled below him as he stumbled down the stairs and out the front door. The morning air was still cool and the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon. Although he had already done his 5 miles for the morning, he turned to a space that promised simplicity—to a time when all he needed was the air, the morning breeze, and the sound of his beat-up tennis shoes hitting the pavement.  

-b 

July 13, 2020